Let's just admit it. All of us parents sometimes look back and wonder how we got here, and sigh and say, "We need to get back to the way we were".
I am talking about how mummy and daddy actually talked to each other and had fun together. When you could spend all night talking and drinking and laughing in the living room. When you could listen to loud music past 9pm. When you could actually HAVE sex. When you could lay in bed naked all day together.
That's why me and the hubby planned a romantic getaway to Vietnam this February, masquerading as our "honeymoon". See, we got married in July last year, but due to the fact that I was still breastfeeding our 1 year-old, among other things, we never made it to any kind of romantic getaway. So this was our chance.
Well. Perhaps there is a reason people court and get married and THEN they have the kids. We did everything not-necessarily-in-this-order and let me tell you, our "honeymoon" was not what honeymooners usually expect, or get.
1. We felt guilty about making this escape. Because first, this was like the living breathing admission that we need an escape FROM [you name it]. For not taking the little one along for an amazing time, although we kept telling ourselves that at a year and a half, he's not so well-suited for 17h flights, horrendous traffic and suspicious-looking local food.
2. We missed him so much that most of the conversations we had were about him. Or about how cute that little child his age is, wearing that traditional outfit. Or how he would've reacted to THAT crazy art installation slash playground at the Doha airport. Or how he would make faces at that lemon-infused bowl of pho. Or pretty much anything really, as long as it involved talking about him.
Mummy particularly got to extremes with this and was kindly asked by daddy to please cut it out. Not that it stopped her. We even spent half our evening at a local restaurant playing with the owner's toddler while our food was getting cold on our plates. And you know what? We loved every minute of it.
3. Our honeymoon was all about getting. SOME. Sleep. Sleep-deprived parents of toddlers will nod their heads at this. Seriously, it was not about having sex every second spent in bed. It was not about taking baths together. It was not about cuddling to sleep. It was about the fact that both of us got to go to bed (pretty early, I might ad), fall asleep, and then miraculously wake up 8ish hours later, without having woken numerous times at night to check on baby/because baby wakes up 3 times a night minimum because he's teething/other.
We were so profoundly grateful to have been given the gift of uninterrupted sleep, we reacted with snapping animosity to tour guides' attempts to drag us out of bed earlier "to catch the sunrise" or to have a boat-trip through some caves with the hope of seeing monkeys at 7-goddamn-am. Seriously? Who wants to go around caves at 7 am?! We're so much better off sleeping in and missing the sunrise, the monkeys and everything you have to offer before 9 am. It's not like we're only here for 2 weeks, right? But we just couldn't do it.
4. The thrill of finding ourselves halfway across the globe was a little reduced by horrible jetlag, but what is worse, constantly going to different places and getting up early so we can travel and still make it to the beach/the old town/the pagoda, left us secretly wanting to have just hired a hotel room in our neighborhood and remained there for the entire duration of our holiday.
We underestimated the stress and tiredness that we have accumulated, due to never having taken a holiday without the baby in almost 2 years. When we finally got to be all by ourselves, we just couldn’t jump into the adventure like we used to do. We needed more time. Or more sleep, which is kind of the same by now.
Advice? Do the honeymoon before you get the baby. Afterwards you might as well call it sleepymoon!
I am talking about how mummy and daddy actually talked to each other and had fun together. When you could spend all night talking and drinking and laughing in the living room. When you could listen to loud music past 9pm. When you could actually HAVE sex. When you could lay in bed naked all day together.
That's why me and the hubby planned a romantic getaway to Vietnam this February, masquerading as our "honeymoon". See, we got married in July last year, but due to the fact that I was still breastfeeding our 1 year-old, among other things, we never made it to any kind of romantic getaway. So this was our chance.
Well. Perhaps there is a reason people court and get married and THEN they have the kids. We did everything not-necessarily-in-this-order and let me tell you, our "honeymoon" was not what honeymooners usually expect, or get.
1. We felt guilty about making this escape. Because first, this was like the living breathing admission that we need an escape FROM [you name it]. For not taking the little one along for an amazing time, although we kept telling ourselves that at a year and a half, he's not so well-suited for 17h flights, horrendous traffic and suspicious-looking local food.
2. We missed him so much that most of the conversations we had were about him. Or about how cute that little child his age is, wearing that traditional outfit. Or how he would've reacted to THAT crazy art installation slash playground at the Doha airport. Or how he would make faces at that lemon-infused bowl of pho. Or pretty much anything really, as long as it involved talking about him.
Mummy particularly got to extremes with this and was kindly asked by daddy to please cut it out. Not that it stopped her. We even spent half our evening at a local restaurant playing with the owner's toddler while our food was getting cold on our plates. And you know what? We loved every minute of it.
3. Our honeymoon was all about getting. SOME. Sleep. Sleep-deprived parents of toddlers will nod their heads at this. Seriously, it was not about having sex every second spent in bed. It was not about taking baths together. It was not about cuddling to sleep. It was about the fact that both of us got to go to bed (pretty early, I might ad), fall asleep, and then miraculously wake up 8ish hours later, without having woken numerous times at night to check on baby/because baby wakes up 3 times a night minimum because he's teething/other.
We were so profoundly grateful to have been given the gift of uninterrupted sleep, we reacted with snapping animosity to tour guides' attempts to drag us out of bed earlier "to catch the sunrise" or to have a boat-trip through some caves with the hope of seeing monkeys at 7-goddamn-am. Seriously? Who wants to go around caves at 7 am?! We're so much better off sleeping in and missing the sunrise, the monkeys and everything you have to offer before 9 am. It's not like we're only here for 2 weeks, right? But we just couldn't do it.
4. The thrill of finding ourselves halfway across the globe was a little reduced by horrible jetlag, but what is worse, constantly going to different places and getting up early so we can travel and still make it to the beach/the old town/the pagoda, left us secretly wanting to have just hired a hotel room in our neighborhood and remained there for the entire duration of our holiday.
We underestimated the stress and tiredness that we have accumulated, due to never having taken a holiday without the baby in almost 2 years. When we finally got to be all by ourselves, we just couldn’t jump into the adventure like we used to do. We needed more time. Or more sleep, which is kind of the same by now.
Advice? Do the honeymoon before you get the baby. Afterwards you might as well call it sleepymoon!